Failure…AM I?

As they say, everything comes from your mind. If you think you are a success, so shall it be. If you think you are beautiful, so shall it be. If you think you are a failure and surround yourself with self-pity…so shall it be.

I know and that is why I surround myself to uplift my spirit with Og Mandino’s scrolls to greatness. I remember I listened to this few years ago when I felt everything I have was doomed to failure. From challenging our finances to constant arguing with our opposed beliefs with my husband. I thought to myself, this is not the kind of life I was thinking before.

Fast forward to present times and I am now seeing myself again uplifting my poor spirit through listening to these scrolls. I realized, though we maybe a survivor of financial struggles as my husband now took care of all the house expenses and my own salary are used only for my own personal expenses and projects I could think of, I found myself trying to save my soul from drowning into self pity. There will always be someone greater or lesser than you are. That’s life. It’s not fair and square. So if I keep on thinking of some other else’s failure or success and try to compare them into my own failures and success, then I am really doomed.

When the bible says, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ( 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), it’s not because God says so for nothing but it’s because of God’s love for us. If we try to change our mind setting and instead of being gloomy, we rejoice for the strength God has given us through all these problems, and prayers help us to have hope for the better and have faith that it will come in His own perfect time and most especially being grateful can mean finding things around us. Things that we should be grateful about. If you are in pain, I know how hard it is to do that but with the grace of God, nothing is impossible.

apple

Giving thanks in all circumstances like the story of a couple I read when I was a child. It was entitled “All is well that ends well”. It’s not the one which William Shakespeare have written.  I can’t recall the exact flow of the story but what remained in my thoughts is the gist of the story. It was a story of a married couple who lived a happy life. One day the man told his wife that he will go into the market to sell their horse. And so he goes, along the way he found a man with a small ass, he was offered by the ass’ owner in exchange for that horse.  He thought a small ass was not that hard to bring to the market which is by the way a couple of miles away, so he agreed. Then along the way, he found a boy with lamb. He thought a lamb can be a good meal and so he exchanged the ass with the lamb. And then along the way still, he found a woman selling apples on the market. The woman asked him if he wanted some apple. He have no money so he offered the lamb in exchange with the apple. And then he went home. His wife welcomed her husband with a hug. The man told his wife about his journey. He told her that he exchanged the horse with an ass. The woman exclaimed “that’s great! I can take care of the ass since it’s smaller than the horse so I wont be having problem in feeding it. Where’s the ass?” He said, I exchanged it with a lamb. The wife was even happier cos she can have something to cook for dinner. But then again, the man said he exchanged it with the apples. And so he showed her the apples. The woman was happy because she has been thinking to cook apple pie for her husband but then they have no apples at all. All is well that ends well.

How can still she be happy when your horse was exchanged to apples? It’s definitely not a great deal, is it? There are a lot of things around us that if we try to overthink is not really fair at all. There will always be lesser or greater than you are. But if we learn to be grateful, we can live a happy life. Hmmm…guess what I want to do? To find a picture of a bag of apples and display it at home to remind me of the story that ends well.

Hubby’s Lesson 101

I admit that I somehow very vocal when I see things are wrong in front of me. I know that it’s a good thing to stand up and correct, but I am also aware that when I do it out of hate and not out of love for others, it’s all too wrong.

My husband used to tell me how he got pissed of by a fish vendor ( lets call him brand x) which is not a homeowner of our village. Brand x asked other fish vendor how much per kilo their fish cost and then suddenly shouts out that brand x fish cost cheaper. One time, a buyer is currently buying from his suki ( favorite vendor)and then suddenly this brand x’ bangus (milkfish) cost cheaper than that fish vendor. So the buyer would think next time I will buy to brand x but then suddenly another buyer asked brand x that he would buy bangus to him. Then brand x would refuse cos he doesnt really have bangus at all.

So now, I know his dirty tricks. He went to our store and talked to our neighbor that a fish vendor wont tell him how much his fish cost and laughs at it. Out of my annoyance with him, I suddenly butt in, ” why are you asking? Are you going to buy to him?” Then he said, so that he would know and maybe will sell his stuff at the same price as his. But I know that was not the main reason. He wants to outwit the other vendors. So I say, that is being rude of you. He suddenly defended how was that rude when he was just asking. So I just tell myself, well I know you don’t know when you are rude or not.

I told my husband about this. He said why did I do that. First of all, I was not a part of the conversation and he did not ask my opinion. I was like, ok, and I realized I was being rude by butting in to conversations I was not even a part of. Secondly, I should not engage in conversations that might lead us to a fight. Or else, they would talk about us and say things against me without my knowledge. So I should have tame my tongue especially when it was burst out of my annoyance. But that was not my reaction when he said it to me. I was a bit angry with all these lectures he gave and I was like making a wall not to accept that what he says was right. It would take me an hour, I guess to accept it…that’s basically me…