My Bucket List

One way of creating a great sense of yourself is to build dreams. According to Bo Sanchez, you will reach your dreams if you can list them down and at least read them everyday and of course pray for them. You may write as many as you want. If you can be more specific, then it is much better. Do not Limit your dreams.

Just want to share with you as I try to list them down.

1. My uterus to be healed and conceive and give birth to a healthy, intelligent and beautiful baby, possibly 3 children in the future.

baby
2. Have our house finished and have a second floor by 2017 and then have it fully paid in 2020.house

3. Can sell at least 500k premiums in insurance per year.

insurance
4. My husband will have a business that wont need him to feel the scorching heat of the sun asap (like resto, meat or fish business).

meatshop

5. Have my kids study in one of the best schools in the city.

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6. Receive a pay check worth 10M for services rendered.

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7. I can make a grand birthday getaway for my Mom spending a week in Imperial Hotel.

imperial
8. We can help our parents financially and can give monthly stipend to them.
9. We can have a family grand vacation at Panglao Beach Resort and spend at least a week there.

panglao
10. Be an effective financial consultant by helping a myriad of clients to put order in their finances.
11. Make an agency of online freelancers.

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12. Be a benefactor of House of Hope.
13. Be an effective servant in the CFC community.
14. Travel Africa, Asia, Europe and the Americas

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15. Have my family car not later than 2017.

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16. All of my family be healthy always.
17. Write and publish a best selling book.

best
18. Learn to drive a car.
19. Be able to travel with the whole family around Asia thru a cruise ship.

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20. Be able to help the community in Kawaking by providing them a source of livelihood

pigery.PNGlike making native decors etc to be sold in CDO or any other parts of the country.
21. Be able to provide jobs to all my friends who need sufficient income.
22. Be able to conquer my fears thru sky diving, water rafting and zipline.

sky
23. My husband and I will witness our future children doing their stuff with flying colors.

magna
24. Totally eliminate my fears and insecurities.
25. Have a weekly family dates or outings.

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26. Have a monthly date with spouse.
27. Have a monthly date with each of my children.
28. Have a weekend getaway to DusitThaniMaldives with the whole family.

dusir
29. Be an inspiration to others.
30. Return to Boracay with family doing the kayaking, Island hopping. parasailing and other activities there.

And I declare that in Jesus name, all my dreams will come true in His Time. But at the end of the day, we should not close our mind to God’s surprises. We may not get the same dreams in the package we are expecting it to be, but what I am sure of, God’s ways are better than ours. So, let us just open our hearts and mind to His surprises.

My Inner Me

I woke up in the middle of the night upon hearing myself sobbing in my dream. It was not a nightmare but it was more of I question my journey of why I am acting and feeling the feeling of insecurities deep inside me. I heard myself suddenly asking, why when in my younger age, I asked why were you feeling insecure when your classmate asked you why I am sickly, why I got a lot of scars in my arms or why I don’t have anything for snacks when my mother is a teacher. Things that they were curious when in fact it’s really none of their business. But then, they are just kids and I am kid which I cannot understand and doesn’t know how would I suppose to react. I was being bullied but they kept their distance since they were afraid of my mother.

When I am in my high school years, these are the stage when there are a lot of changes and that includes attraction and body changes. But I felt insecurities grew more. I don’t even recognize my male classmates because of my insecurities where they thought I was being snob.

During my early college years, I was feeling more confident, maybe because were being surrounded with more guys and less girls made me more confident since they treated us like princess (perks of being an Engineering Lady Student). We wear comfortable shirt and jeans and still look beautiful because we were just six ladies in our class. And studying in a state university with less socialite students made me feel I belong. But then it would vanish when I sleep in the middle of the night because all my dorm mates got disturbed with my snoring. Damn. Just imagine during your girls chitchat, they kept on repeating how terrible their night was because of you snoring. That is why I always see to it that they are all asleep before I sleep.

And even when in my adult years, I still can see more insecurities in me. Of not having a boyfriend for so long, of how they kept on pushing me to get married even if I don’t have a boyfriend. To the extent of teasing me to almost all single guy available on the planet. That made me feel so uneasy and even wishing to just burst and disappear.

I realize that it has always been this way. I have been developing such a low self esteem because of so many things that I lack which gets more of my attention more of what I have. I almost forget that I was a consistent honor student in grade school, graduated best in Math in high school and a BS Math graduate and worked in a prestigious multi national company that hired only who graduated cum laude.